1. Chinos. Beige chinos have a special place in clothing hell. It really is a gross colour especially for pants. Chinos are neither formal not casual and don’t match anything well. They fall into the clothing choice category for old men who don’t want to wear jeans. I bet even Ian Somerhalder would not look good in a pair. Now that is saying something.
2. Tucking a formal shirt into your jeans. If you are one of those guys that have an urge to do this, why don’t you wear your formal pants to work instead. Eyes everywhere will silently thank you. I must point out that this is a wild card entry on the list simply because I have seen some guys pull this look off. However it’s probably more the fact that they are incredibly tall (1.85m) and extremely good looking than anything else. If you don’t fall into these categories, I’m sorry but that tucked shirt is just not that into you. While on the subject of shirts, let’s have a small shout out to short sleeve formal shirts. The sin of all sins. The crocs of the shirt world. If you were going for the farmer look by all means proceed otherwise hell no!
3. Any shirt/jacket or jersey that has been possessed by a patch on the elbow in a different colour. I know you guys want to be trendy and try new looks out. But some fads sadly should not be making an appearance in your clothing cupboard even if you got it for free. This is most definitely one of them. I don’t understand the logic behind the design. Is it to provide extra reinforcement on the elbows where it gets worn out? Because it’s purpose is certainly not to make you look good.
4. Wearing a suit jacket and pants combo that do not match. Why would anyone think a beige jacket goes with black pants? It looks sloppy and unprofessional. Lose the jacket if you don’t have the matching pants or at the very least stick to the same colour and pattern. Remember even if they are the same colour, if they have been dry cleaned a different number of times the shading won’t be the same.
5. Brown shoes that don’t match to a single item of clothing. Especially if they contain all 50 shades of brown and are so shiny I can see my reflection in them.
6. Baggy untailored clothes. I don’t care how expensive your shirt is, the wrong size makes you look like you forgot to buy new clothes after fat camp. Let’s not even get started on wearing super short ties that make you resemble a clown wearing ill fitting clothing in a circus act.
7. Tank tops/wife beaters. Firstly how horrible are those names? This is an unflattering look even for those who do go to the gym and have a good body. It stinks of trying too hard but not succeeding. If you are one of those guys that wears one in a baggy size, I would rather see your flab without a tank top than you drowning your body in one.
I’m here to tell you that as much as I know that you hate shopping it is perfectly okay to shop and replace your clothes. Especially when they start to tear or those once blue pants are now a dirty shade of brown. Save the rest of us the embarrassment of having to avert our eyes and pretend not to notice.
Fashion & Police,