1. Post pictures of my toes on social media. I don’t understand why people do this. Especially when the toes in question are gnarly with badly cut toenails. On that point why do women take off their shoes in public spaces? I really don’t want to see your cracked heels or how dirty your shoes are inside because you don’t clean them. Sies man!
2. Go backpacking. I am not hating on people that do backpack but it’s not for me. I can’t think of anything worse than living out of a bag, rooming in hostels, being dirty and sweaty all the time, travelling long distances by buses or participating in any form of hiking. Some people love it but it’s definitely not for me as I have never been the dirty hippy type. That’s not to say I have to stay in a luxurious hotel when on holiday, 3 star suits me just fine. Lastly I hate how backpackers always tell you it’s the only way to travel and see the world. No it’s not the only way it is simply the cheapest way.
3. Start behaving as a couple not an individual. That girl that has to do everything with her bf/partner/husband. That girl that can only go out if her other half is invited too. That girl that never spends alone time with her friends. That girl that has to rush home because she has to cook for her husband or because he simply can’t be alone. That girl who loses sense of herself. I will never be that girl. I believe that spending time apart is just as important as spending time together with your partner. I have a friend who doesn’t have a car but still made time to come out, but your excuse is your bf/husband? What happens when you have an event and need to invite people to share in your happiness? Do you think those people you ignored will still be there? What about if you are no longer with your partner due to breaking up/divorce/death? Do you only expect people to support you but never the other way around? When your other half isn’t around anymore don’t expect the friends you have ignored to be there for you.
Also stop with the couple Facebook accounts. “X and Y forever” is the name of your joint account – really? You are kidding me right?
Lastly let’s talk about joint bank accounts. It’s fine to have your own separate bank accounts and one joint account for expenses, but one account for everything. No, no, I would never do that. It doesn’t make the slightest sense to me not even if you are trying to save bank fees.
4. Be high maintenance. Whilst I do have standards, I will never be that girl that spends hours on doing my hair, makeup and nails with a complicated outfit and heels I can’t walk in. Generally the people that spend that much time are insecure and end up representing the epitome of a fashion travesty. I think we all know someone who is a daily fashion police disaster – if not that person is probably you! Men aren’t impressed with the complicated outfits, by your late 20s you should have figured out what works and what doesn’t work for you.
5. Be a begging blogging bitch. I won’t beg brands for stuff or lie about their products because I don’t want to stop receiving freebies. Most of the South African blogs I read write brand promos without any real opinions. I generally check Makeup Alley for makeup reviews and Zomato for food reviews. Honest bloggers with integrity are hard to find these days. I have used countless a bad product and ate at plenty of sub par restaurants because of blogger recommendations. Some of these bloggers even get comments along the lines of “that sounds like a paid advertorial” – which of course they deny. Or they write a disclaimer “that your experience might not be the same” or “you should visit because it is unique”. That is right, we don’t get free food, the best service and we only hear about the good from you. I have read food reviews where there is a description of the food as found on the menu but nothing on the actual taste. That to me isn’t a good critique. That is you eating for free, posting badly taken pictures and a few quickly written lines telling me nothing I don’t already know. The key is not to trust those that don’t spend their own hard earned money on it.
6. Become a pathological liar. I guess if I was a pathological liar I would be saying this anyway! Everyone tells little white lies. But then there are those people that you know are lying but they are so mentally disturbed that on some level they seem to actually believe their lies. Their lies become their reality. At first I was angry when dealing with such individuals, now I just realize that they are deeply insecure and have serious mental problems. Back away slowly from such individuals. Don’t get sucked into their vapid world of lies and start feeling sorry for them when their story is in fact made up.
7. Pretend to like someone. If I don’t like you, trust me you will know it. I have been told that I have a stern face but it’s just a nice way of saying I have a bitch resting face. You can easily tell what I am thinking because my face gives all my emotions away. I honestly don’t want to waste my precious time on people I don’t like. I don’t owe anyone anything, especially not who and what I spend my time on. Have your own events. Get your own friends. Stop insinuating yourself in my life. And leave me out of it!
You can’t sit with me,